Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Perry: You don't get it, do you? This isn't "good cop, bad cop." This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.

Harry: Do you think I'm stupid?

Perry: I don't think you'd know where to put food at, if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes I think you're stupid.

Harmony: God, Harry. Shit, if I leave you the keys, can you take yourself to the hospital?

Harry: Look, you want to see something cool?
Harmony: Oh cool! This stopped the bullet, Harry.
Harry: No, not really.

Harry: Hey, hey, hey! It's Christmas, where's my present, Slick?
Perry: Your fucking present is you're not in jail, fag-hag.

Harry: And that's how she got to the same party as me. Oh shit. I skipped something. Damn it. This whole robot bit. I made a big deal, then I like totally forgot. Fuck, this is bad narrating. Like my dad telling a joke. "Oh, wait back up. I forgot to tell you the cowboy rode a blue horse." Fuck. Anyway, I don't know if you want to see it now, but here's the fucking robot stuff for your viewing pleasure. Can I say "fuck" more?

Harry: Wow! I was glad you had a gun in there. For a second, I actually thought you could do that, like it was some big gay thing.

Harry: Is she dead?
Perry: No, she's just resting her eyes for a minute. Of course she's fucking dead, her neck's broken.

Perry: You think that's funny huh? I'm going to break your nose now.

Perry: What did you just do?
Harry: I just put in one bullet, didn't I?
Perry: You put a live round in that gun?
Harry: Well yeah, there was like an 8% chance.
Perry: Eight? Who taught you math?!

Harry: So the whole... reconcilement... thing?
Perry: Reconciliation, idiot.

Woman in Hospital Blues: I don't like him; Kurt Cobain. He stole my cricket.

Harry: Doesn't that suck? I just hit you for no reason. I don't even know why.

Harmony: You think I'm amazing. You do. Cause that's who I told you I'd be. That was the game plan.
Harry: Yeah, well, you know what, it worked.
Harmony: You know what? No one else thinks so.
Harry: What, my opinion doesn't count?
Harmony: Actually, no it doesn't. Cause you're new here. If you just look around, there's younger and there's better.
Harry: I don't want younger and better, I want you!

Harry: Yeah, boo, hiss, I know. Look, I hate it too. In movies where the studio gets all paranoid about a downer ending so the guy shows up, he's magically alive on crutches, I hate that. I mean shit, why not bring them all back? But the point is in this case, this time, it really happened. Perry, like, lived. Yeah, it's a dumb movie thing, but what do you want me to do, lie about it?

Perry: What are you doing?
Harry: I'm just trying to wrap up the movie, and leave people with a message.
Perry: Oh, I've got a message for you. Get your feet off my fucking desk.
Harry: Sorry.
Harry: I work for Perry now, obviously.
Perry: And stop narrating.

Perry: [to the audience] Thanks for coming, please stay for the end credits, if you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew, um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said fuck so much.